Crazy Ride
by Confetti Leaves
Summary: Genes don't make a family, love makes a family...but when the truth comes out, will that be enough to keep their family together? AU. Morgan/Prentiss. Beta'd by ArwenLalaith.
1. Chapter 1

**AN 1: This is my very first crossover fic! I'm so excited and I hope you'll love it as much as I do. And don't forget to let me know what you think of it.**

**AN 2: This fic was supposed to be ArwenLalaith's birthday gift but I couldn't finished it without her help. I know, it's kinda like asking the birthday girl to wrap her own presents but if it wasn't for her, this fic wouldn't have been finished so quickly. So, thanks a lot buddy! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D I'm really glad you liked it.**

...**  
**

"Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!"

"Bye! Be careful, honey!"

Derek and Emily stood by the window in the front room, looking out, watching their sixteen year old daughter leave for the mall with her friends to search for the perfect prom dress. It seemed like only yesterday that they'd first brought her home and, all of a sudden, she was all grown up and ready to fly. Emily had always known that sooner or later they were going to have to let her go, but she couldn't help hoping that time would pass a little slower so she could have more time with her daughters.

As if reading her mind, Derek wrapped his arms around her from behind and spoke up, "It's amazing how fast they grow up, huh?"

"Yeah," she smiled softly, leaning against him. "It seems just like yesterday when we set up the nursery for her..."

"I know," he smiled, "Sometimes when I look at her, I can still see that little girl who is small enough to stand on my feet during the daddy-daughter dances."

"The house is so quiet without them..." Emily commented, after standing in the same spot in silence for several moments.

"Mm-hmm," he murmured, pressing soft kisses along the column of her throat.

"What are you doing?" She turned around in his arms, giving him a pointed look. "The girls could come home any time."

"No, they won't," Derek argued, "Lux just left, Jodi is at a friend's birthday party, it'll hours before they come home. Remember the things we used to do around the house before we had them?" he asked in the low, sexy voice that always made her blush.

"You'd think by now, I'd get use to that sexy voice."

"I'm glad you didn't..."

...

"Help me tie up the back?" Lux asked, reaching in vain for the strings hanging down the back of the dress.

Tasha threaded the strings in a zig-zag down her spine. "I like it," she said definitively.

Lux hummed consideringly. "I don't know..." she said eventually. She twirled in front of the full-length mirror, the bright lights glinting off the beaded decorations of the pale pink dress.

Tasha sighed dramatically. "Come on, Lux, you must've tried on a hundred dresses already. We've been to every store in this mall. How do you not know? It looks gorgeous."

"It just doesn't _feel _right." She cocked her head to the side and frowned. "I just think when it's the right one, I'll know."

"Get over yourself," Tasha scoffed good-naturedly, "It's not like it's your wedding dress." She punctuated the statement with an exaggerated eye roll.

"I saw that." With one last twirl, she sighed, "Do you know which one you're getting?"

"I think the green one, but my mom wants to give the okay on any final decision." She quickly changed the subject, demanding, "Try on the purple one."

Lux shut herself in the change-room and attempted to wriggle out of the dress she had on.

Through the door, Tasha called, "Your parents are really just going to let you pick out your dress without even seeing it first?"

She nodded, her mouth covered by the mass of purple fabric pressed against her face as she pulled the new dress over her head. "Yeah," she added when she realized her nod couldn't be seen through the door.

"Your parents are so cool... You're so lucky."

Lux smiled. "Yeah, they're pretty awesome."

...

With a little persuasion, Tasha finally managed to convince Lux that the pink dress was perfect, though it took a further half-hour of consideration before she ultimately decided to buy the dress. By that time, though, Tasha was a little exasperated, antsy to get home before her parents got annoyed.

"We're never getting out of here," Tasha grumbled as they meandered through the throngs of families, couples, strollers, and single shoppers that clogged the mall, attempting to get to the parking lot.

"You're so dramatic," Lux smiled slightly, nudging her friend.

"It's not drama if it's true," Tasha argued.

"Quit being such a princess," Lux scoffed.

They were so embroiled in their conversation that they didn't see the woman, overladen with shopping bags, headed straight for them.

"Lux, look..." Tasha started to warn, but her cautioning came a second too late as Lux ran right into the woman. "...out," she finished lamely.

Lux stumbled backwards, barely avoiding falling. The woman also lost her balance, her shopping bags tumbling to the ground, spilling their contents. "Oh my gosh," Lux exclaimed, "I'm _so_ sorry!" She quickly pulled the lady up and began helping her pick up her things from the ground.

"No worries," the woman smiled, collecting her posessions, "I wasn't being very careful myself." Then, she did a double-take, staring at Lux for a few moments, studying her features.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable under the woman's intense stare, Lux asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No," she shook her head, "I just thought you looked familiar, like someone I might know..." She smiled her thanks, taking her things from Lux, then extending a hand. "I'm Cate, by the way."

"Lux."

"Lux?" Cate frowned. "Interesting name. Your parents must be pretty cool."

"They are," the young girl smiled.

"Lux, my mom is gonna flip out if we don't get home soon," Tasha interrupted. "Can we go?"

"We have to go," Lux smiled, "Nice to meet you." She got to her feet, bounding after her friend who was already half-way down the hall. With one last backward glance towards where the woman was still standing where she'd stumbled, watching Lux's retreating figure, Lux flashed a smile, silently wondering why the woman was so focused on her.

...

It was late in the afternoon, Emily and Derek were in bed and he spooned behind her, holding her tightly, enjoying the afterglow of their love making. He gently kissed the nape of her neck. "Is everything okay, baby?" he asked when he heard her sigh.

She turned in his arms and smiled softly. "Everything is perfect." She kissed him gently, trailing her fingers up and down his biceps. "I think you just tired me out," she murmured, "I must be getting old."

"Old? You?" he laughed, "Never. We're just that awesome together. Remember the first time we made love?"

"How could I forget?" she smiled, burying her face in his chest. Then, she sighed again.

"There is something else, isn't there?"

"You read me like a book," she commented; then, she continued, "I was just wondering if we should tell Lux the truth now..."

"I thought we agreed to tell her when she turns eighteen."

"We did, but lately I've just had a feeling that we maybe should let her know sooner. Would she hate us if she knew she isn't our own?" she asked, fear and worry swirling in her eyes. "What if when she knows she doesn't want to have anything to do with us? What should we do? Will Jodi hate us too?"

"Sweetheart," he breathed, "Stop. You're going to drive yourself crazy with all these questions. I don't know the answers either, but everything is gonna be fine. Lux knows we love her; even if we didn't make her, she is still our baby."

"You're right," Emily smiled, "I'm just being paranoid, I guess."

"I know how I can make you feel better..." Derek grinned and leaned in to kiss her hungrily.

She let herself indulge for a moment and melt into his kiss. Then, with all her discipline, she pushed him away, earning a disappointed groan from him. "The girls will be home soon. I have to make dinner." She giggled softly, kissing him lightly. "Maybe tonight? After the girls go to bed?"

"Then you better prepare something hearty because we're going to need the strength..." he quipped, causing her to laugh warmly.


	2. Chapter 2

After dinner and after deciding that there was nothing worth watching on TV, since almost all the channels were broadcasting the Olympic games, her sister decided that she wanted to see Lux in her prom dress. And even though her parents had told her that she could have any dress she wanted without them approving it first, she knew they wanted to see it.

So, here she was, standing in her pink prom dress behind the door that lead to her bedroom, nervously examining it in the different light, trying to decide if it still looked as good as it had in the store. She knew that even if she looked like a train-wreck in the dress, her parents would tell her that she looked like a princess. Of course, she thought she looked pretty good in the dress, but her parents' opinions were important to her.

Opening the door, she stepped out of the room with a nervous smile and twirled in front her waiting family. As soon as her ten year old sister, Jodi, set her eyes on Lux, she smiled brightly and clapped. "You're so pretty! You're as pretty as Hannah Montana," she added, causing Lux to giggle a little.

"You look beautiful, Princess," Derek said, kissing the top of her head.

"Mom?"

"I think that boy who's taking you to prom is a very lucky boy," Emily smiled, tenderly running her fingers through Lux's blond locks.

"Speaking of this boy, what's his name?" Derek asked.

"Jones," Lux replied. There was a pause for a split second, then she quickly added, "Dad, you _can't_ ask Aunty Pen to do a background check on him."

"Not even a little?" he asked, "Just to make sure he's okay?"

"No!" Lux frowned and pouted a little, "Please, promise me you won't do that."

Emily smiled adoringly when Derek sighed; Lux knew that he wouldn't be able to say 'no' to her when she unleashed the puppy dog eyes and pout. He blamed her for teaching their daughters how to work that look to the best of its abilities.

"Fine," he relented, "But I get to kick his butt if he tries anything on you."

"Fair enough," Lux giggled, "But I think I can kick his butt if I have too."

Derek and Emily laughed. "Of course you can."

...

Cate Cassidy wasn't a person who often doubted herself. Or at least that's what she liked to tell herself.

But there was no other way to describe that sinking feeling flooding through her body just then.

She laid in bed that night, after that fateful shopping trip, trying to convince herself that that young blonde she had bumped into earlier at the mall, wasn't who she thought she was. Her name, Lux; Cate had begged the couple who adopted her daughter not to change her name. Cate couldn't give her anything, she couldn't even be a mother to her, the least she could do was to give her daughter a name.

Sure, there could be other sixteen year old girls who were named Lux, but the striking features and that star-shaped birthmark on her right shoulder had Cate almost a hundred percent convinced that that young lady was her daughter.

When Lux smiled, she had the same smile as Nate Baze, that high school quarterback who knocked her up on prom night sixteen years ago. She would never forget that smile. It was that damn smile that made her agreed to get into Baze's van in the first place.

Lux _had_ to be her daughter.

Those sixteen years ago, which seemed like an entire lifetime, she'd refused to hold her daughter after she was born. Time and time again, as the nurses brought the tiny infant in to her, she'd always said no. Because she knew if she'd held that tiny life she'd created, she'd want to keep her...and that couldn't happen, it wouldn't be fair to her or the couple who'd waited years to get a baby and it certainly wouldn't be fair to Lux.

She'd watched as the adoptive parents she'd chosen held the baby for the first time, tears flooding the woman's eyes, the man trying to hold back his own happy tears. In that moment, she'd known she'd done the right thing.

But none of that meant anything right now. Because when she'd seen that beautiful blonde teenager in the mall, she had known in her heart that she was her daughter. Instantly, all the what-ifs and maybes and should-haves came flooding back. What if she'd kept her? Maybe she could have done it. She should have at least tried...

Lux hadn't had the slightest inkling that the two of them were anything other than complete strangers, no clue whatsoever that they shared half their DNA. And truth be told, she had been a little bit wounded by that, having suddenly felt that overwhelming sense of reunion, only to have it returned with not even a hint of recognition.

If she'd held her as a baby, would they have formed some kind of connection that would have let her recognize her own mother?

She didn't often second guess her decisions, but she definitely was right now. Afterall, you can't expect a distraught, scared, hormonal sixteen year old to make the right decisions. And right now, every fibre of her being was telling her that the right decision had not been to let go of that little girl.

The one thing she knew for sure was that she needed to see her daughter again...

Cate got out bed, turned on her laptop, and began searching for that adoption agency that took Lux. She made the mistake of letting her go sixteen years ago, she wasn't about to make that same mistake again...


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan had insisted on taking Cate out to dinner that night so she could relax. He'd noticed that she'd been a little more tightly wound than usual lately, though she refused to tell him what was behind her sudden change in demeanour. He just let it go, though; he'd learned a long time ago that trying to get her to open up before she was ready would only result in her retreating further.

It had been nearly a week since her run in with that girl and, with each passing day, she only became more convinced that it had been her daughter. Since then, she'd been doing everything in her power to attempt to track down this girl, knowing she just had to see her again...she had to see if she truly was her daughter.

But things hadn't been going smoothly. She'd spoken to the adoption agency and ran into a dead-end when they refused to give her any information about the couple who had adopted her daughter. They had wanted a closed adoption, not that she could blame them, they'd had some bad experiences before and there was the fear that being able to see her child would make her want to keep her.

At the time, she had readily agreed because she'd known they were the parents she'd wanted her daughter to have and because her sixteen year old self had figured, once it was done and over with, it would be best to just pretend as if it had never happened, rather than constantly be reminded of it. But if she had known then how much she would be regretting that decision now, she might never have gone along with it.

Now, she was left frustrated and disheartened, desperately trying to think of some way to track down her daughter. She had known the first names of her adoptive parents, though not their last name, and she couldn't for the life of her remember now. She hit wall after wall in her search, leaving her more and more discouraged.

"Cate, are you alright?" Ryan asked quietly, reaching out for her hand.

"I'm fine," she said, pulling her hand away.

"Are you sure?" he pressed, "You've been a little...off lately."

"It's nothing," she insisted, rather harshly, "I've just got a lot on my mind."

Ryan looked at her suspiciously for several moments, but merely sighed, saying nothing. Sometimes, it seemed like she didn't really trust him, like she'd rather shut him out. She gave him the 'please, just drop it' look that he seemed to be getting more and more frequently lately. Eventually, he conceded, rather than press the issue; he was about to start an unrelated conversation to hopefully warm the chill air between them, but was interrupted by a shrill laugh from a child several tables away.

They both turned to find the source of the noise, a pretty little brunette girl giggling boisterously. The couple sitting with her, undoubtedly her parents, shared a smile.

Cate turned back to him with a frown. She attempted a surreptitious nod towards the family. "Do they look familiar to you?"

Ryan looked at her curiously, then glanced towards the family. "No..."

"Look harder," she insisted, "I'm sure I know them from somewhere..."

"I'm sure it's just your imagination. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's _not _my imagination," she said flatly, "I saw them earlier this week and I was _sure _I knew them from somewhere..."

"Cate, maybe this is one of those things you just need to let go..." Ryan said gently.

But she wasn't really listening. Her gaze was fixed on a teenage blonde, bouncing back through the restaurant to join the table they had just been watching. She froze, her expression radiating shock. She couldn't believe that, after all her searching, the answer just waltzed right in.

All thoughts of her meal and her patiently waiting fiance forgotten, she stared openly, listening to the conversation between the blonde and her family.

"Lux!" the younger girl trilled, "You have to wear the birthday crown!"

Lux slid into the seat next to the girl. "Not happening."

"But you have to! That's the rule...you have to wear the crown when we go out for your birthday dinner!" When Lux continued shaking her head, the girl turned to her father. "Daddy!" she plead, "Tell her..."

The man grinned and looked at Lux pointedly. "Jodi's right...the birthday girl always has to wear the crown." He brandished a silver plastic tiara in her direction as she attempted to scowl, but couldn't help the smile trying to escape.

"Fine," she sighed dramatically, snatching it from him and placing it atop her mess of blonde curls, "I'll wear it..."

Cate felt her heart hammering as if she'd just run a mile. "It's them..." she breathed.

"Who?" Ryan asked, not realizing she wasn't speaking to him – or anyone. "Who's 'them'?"

Cate snapped out of her trance, eyes wide and glassy, looking lost in some unknown time. "No one," she said quickly, "Nevermind."

But it most certainly wasn't _no one_. It was _definitely _her daughter and that was _definitely _the couple who had adopted her. That was where she knew them from.

She was so close...so close to absolving the biggest regret of her life...

A rock and a hard place.

If ever she'd been between the two, it was now.

She spent the rest of the meal pushing her food around her plate, no longer really hungry. Ryan tried to make conversation at first, but when it ended up being largely one-sided, he gave up, spending the rest of the meal in silence.

She watched the family interact, feeling herself alternating between emotions as she bore witness to their obvious happiness. They were the pristine imagine of a perfect, loving family, the parents obviously in love with each other and their children, the two sisters actually getting along, everyone smiling so much it was almost sickening.

If she were perfectly honest with herself, she was a little jealous. This family was everything she'd never had, her parents having separated, never able to interact positively with her sister...maybe if she'd had a family more like this one, she might never have gotten pregnant at sixteen. Not that she regretted having Lux.

At the same time, she was elated that her daughter had such a wonderful life. She couldn't have asked for a more perfect environment for her child to grow up in; she had definitely made the right decision when she picked out these parents.

But that was part of the problem. If Lux had grown up in foster care, constantly transferred from one dysfunctional family to the next, never getting the chance to settle and be happy, it would be one thing... But she had the perfect life here, she had everything.

If she came sweeping in and turned Lux's whole world on its head, would that really be for the best? Or would it just tear her life apart? And it wouldn't be just Lux's life she was changing forever...

It would be her younger sister's life when she found out her parents had kept a secret for so long. She'd start questioning whether they loved her as much because they'd gotten to chose Lux while they'd been stuck with her...

It would be the couple's life as they watched their daughters turn against them out of hurt and anger. Everything they'd waited so long for, the family they'd prayed for and worked so hard to keep together falling apart faster than they could possibly fix it...

And for Lux, nothing would be the same. Her whole life, a lie. An outsider in her own family, not really belonging. She'd be devastated. She might even hate her for tearing apart the only family she'd ever known only because of her selfish desire to not feel as if she'd abandoned her daughter.

Cate bit her lip. How could she possibly do that to them? How could she put her desperate need to feel connected to her own flesh and blood ahead of the happiness of this family?

But at the same time, how could she not? Now that she knew, now that she'd found them, how could she not take what might be the only chance she got to get to know her daughter? Maybe she'd find that sense of belonging, of purpose, she'd been searching for her entire life. If not, at least she'd know, at least she wouldn't have to wonder what if.

It almost made her wish she'd never run into Lux at all. Almost.


	4. Chapter 4

"Derek, can you get that?" Emily called as there was a sharp knocking at the door. She was currently in the midst of preparing dinner before the girls got home from school so Jodi wouldn't be late for field hockey practice.

"Can I help you?" he asked, opening to door to reveal a strangely familiar looking woman.

For a moment, she froze, a look of anxiety crossing her face and, for a moment, she seemed about to turn and run away. Then, she visibly steeled herself, taking several deep breaths and reigning in her nerves. "Hi, I – umm – I..." she stammered.

Derek, taking pity on the young woman, stepped back and asked, "Did you want to come in?"

She smiled tersely and nodded. "Thanks," she murmured quietly, stepping inside. She took a quick glance around the house, very obviously home to two young girls by the clothes littering various surfaces and the forgotten textbooks. It just felt like home, pictures of a beautiful family covering the walls, the smell of home-cooking on the air. It looked like a wonderful place to live, happiness seeming to emanate from the walls. Once again, her internal voice spoke up telling her that this wasn't right, she should just walk away now before she tore this family apart.

Emily's voice rang out from the kitchen once again, "Who is it?"

Derek turned back to the woman, eyebrow raised, silently asking what she wanted.

With a deep breath, she plastered on a smile, preparing herself for their reactions. "I'm Cate Cassidy and..."

The speech she had prepared on the drive over was interrupted by the sound of shattering glass in the kitchen. The next second, Emily came running into the front room, face ghost white, looking horrified. She gripped her husband's arm tightly, whispering in his ear.

He gave Cate a half-hearted smile. "Can you give us a minute?"

She nodded, leaning back against the door. This was not going well so far...

"What is she doing here?" Emily hissed the second they were out of earshot, "We agreed that she wasn't going to have any contact..."

As much as he knew they had made that decision in the best interests of Lux, but he couldn't help taking pity on the woman – it couldn't have been easy giving up a child at such a young age. "I'm sure she just wants to know how Lux is doing..."

Emily was pacing, looking worried. "What if she wants to see Lux? Oh, God... This can't happen!"

"Then we remind her that she gave up that right sixteen years ago," he said soothingly.

"Why now?" she asked, "She didn't want anything to do with Lux when she was born...she never even held her... Now she just shows up at our doorstep? What if she won't take no for an answer?" Her voice wavered with the effort of keeping herself from crying; nothing was able to reduce her to tears so fully as the thought of losing another child.

He pulled her to him, holding her in a comforting embrace. "It's going to be okay," he murmured, "We'll figure this out." He kissed her quickly, then lead her back into the front room. "Look, Cate..." he began to say.

She interrupted, "I'm so sorry for just showing up out of the blue like this... I – I just needed..." she began. Then, she saw the look on the older woman's face, looking as if she were close to tears. "I just wanted to know what she's like, how she's doing..."

Once again they shared a look. Emily could see that Derek, being the softie he was, was inclined to help the woman. And the side of her that still regretted the decision she had made at fifteen desperately wanted to help Cate, knowing the kind of pain she must be going through. Even if she was scared to death about what this could possibly mean for Lux.

"Alright," Derek sighed, "But this can't happen again. We decided on a closed adoption because it was best for Lux and that hasn't changed."

"Thank you," Cate let out a sigh of relief, "You'll never know how much this means to me."

"We should sit," Emily feigned a smile."What do you want to know?" she asked, tightening her grip on Derek's hand.

"Is she..." Cate paused momentarily, there was so much she didn't know about her own flesh and blood, so much she wanted – needed – to know. "Is she healthy?"

Derek and Emily shared a look and sighed. "You probably don't know about this, but Lux was very sick when she was born. She had a hole in her heart..."

They looked at Cate who stared back at them with her mouth open slightly. They figured she knew nothing about Lux since she hadn't wanted anything to do with her in her fragile emotional state.

"I... I didn't know."

"She's fine now," he assured her, "She had a couple of surgeries, but she's tough, she hung in there. She even plays sports every now and then."

"What about school? How are her grades? Her friends?"

Emily smiled a little, feeling a surge of pride. She and Derek never had to worry about their daughter's grades. Lux had always been a straight A student and all the teachers loved her. "She's a good student," the older woman replied, "Her grades have always been good. She's actually really good in English. She has a lot of friends, but Tasha's her best friend. They've known each other since they were in first grade."

"Good." Cate paused again, an awkward silence looming over the three adults like an ugly grey stormcloud. "Does Lux know about..." she trailed off.

"No." Derek shook his head. "We didn't tell her because we wanted her to have a happy childhood. We didn't want her to feel like she didn't belong."

Cate nodded understandingly; it sounded fair that they kept it a secret from Lux. What child would want to know that their birth mother didn't want her and had given her away to strangers rather than raise her? "Would you ever tell her?"

"We'll tell her when she turns eighteen, when she'll be mature enough to handle the truth and decide what she wants to do about it."

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, an internal war raging over whether or not to tell them the real purpose of her visit. But, before she could stop them, the words were already bubbling up, "This might be ridiculous of me to ask...but is there any way for me to get to know Lux? Spend some time with her?"

"What?"

Cate felt her stomach leap into her throat; the looks that had crossed their faces were nothing short of absolute terror. But it was too late to take it back now. Her mouth seemed to have a mind of its own and she kept talking, knowing she might as well finish what she had started, "I know this is hard for you to accept, but I just want to get to know my daughter."

"What makes you think you could come into our home and tell us you want to get to know Lux after you gave her up sixteen years ago? She's _our _daughter. You didn't even want to hold her when she was born," Emily snapped, staring at the younger woman in disbelief. As much as she pitied Cate and wanted to help her, she couldn't stand the fact that this woman might very well ruin the happy life that she and Derek tried so hard to build. "Did you realize that by coming here, you could have torn our family apart?"

"Emily..." Derek whispered, tightening his grip on her hand, "Don't..." His heart broke when his wife finally gave up holding back her tears and broke down in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

"Thanks for the ride!" Lux chirped brightly to Jones, as she pulled her backpack out of the backseat of his Jeep and slammed the door shut.

"No problem," he called back, with a small wave, "I'll see you on Monday."

She bounded up the steps, stopping just short of the door. Turning back, she grinned and waved goodbye as he pulled away from the curb. She sighed as she noted the strange car parked nearby, hoping it wasn't someone who planned on staying; she liked family dinners.

She was about to call out a greeting to her parents as she walked in the door, when raised voices carried from the dining room. She set her bag down quietly, unable to resist listening in a little, something she seemed to have gotten from her parents. She couldn't see the guest properly, her face obscured from view, but there was something familiar about her that she couldn't quite place. But her parents were obviously distressed.

"...you want to get to know Lux after you gave her up sixteen years ago?"her mother's voice came. She could hear the anger in her voice, but also a hint of fear.

Then, the words sunk in... _Gave her up?_

"You didn't even want to hold her when she was born!" Her voice was wavering with tears and that frightened Lux...there wasn't much that was able to make her mother cry.

_Who were they talking to? _Her parents had both told her more than once about the first time they'd held her...

Then, she watched as her mother broke down completely, collapsing into her father's arms. Instantly, he was in protector mode. "You need to leave," he told the woman evenly, but it was clear that he was on the brink of breaking down as well. That, more than anything, frightened her – her father was the strongest person she knew.

"Please," the woman begged desperately, "Just consider it... She should know where she came from and I need to know my daughter. I didn't know what I was doing when I put her up for adoption, I was young and scared... _Please_..."

"What!" Lux yelped, not realizing that she was about to speak until the words were out of her mouth.

Instantly, all three adults turned to look at her, faces displaying varying degrees of shock and anxiety. The woman stood up and, for the first time, Lux got a clear view of her face, recognizing her instantly as the woman she'd collided with at the mall.

"I... I'm _adopted_?" she asked slowly, gaze darting between her parents. "Is that true?"

"Lux..." her mother said softly, sadly, standing up and moving towards her. Tear tracks stained her pale cheeks and her eyes glinted with fresh tears.

Lux took a step back, away from her. "_Is it true_?" she repeated slowly, starting to well up.

She watched as her parents exchanged a silent glance, then looked at her once again, apology written on their features. They didn't say anything, but they didn't have to...after everything she'd seen and heard, their expressions alone were more than enough to know it was all true.

For a few moments, she felt numb, waiting for everything to sink in. She felt so stupid...how could she not have seen it? A blonde daughter in a dark-haired family; it was quite obvious she didn't belong, now that she thought about it.

Then, like a ton of bricks, it hit her so hard, she was surprised she was still standing. _Adopted_. The black sheep. Picked out like a puppy at the pound because her real family hadn't wanted her. Tears flooded her eyes and she sniffled, desperately trying to hold them back, refusing to cry in front of them. She wanted to be angry and – to some degree – she was, but mostly, she just felt heart-broken. And that was just scratching the surface, she didn't want to even begin to fathom the myriad of other emotions swirling tumultously beneath the surface.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she went to her go-to coping mechanism, trying to force logic and reason into the situation so she could bottle up her emotions for a time when no one would see her lose control. She attempted to piece together a sentence, a question, anything to break the horribly oppressive silence filling the air as the adults waited for her to react. "I... But... Why would you..."

With a heavy sigh, she gave up on trying to string words together, running a hand restlessly through her hair. She looked desperately from one adult to another, silently pleading for someone to break the tension.

"Lux, I'm so sorry..." Emily breathed, seeming – if possible – more upset about this situation than her daughter. She placed a hand on Lux's shoulder, gently running it up and down her back. What she really wanted was to pull her into a hug, as much for Lux's sake as for hers, but she doubted Lux would accept the comforting gesture just now.

For several more moments, Lux considered her parents seriously, but she still had no idea what to think or how to react, so she rounded on the stranger, the one person she was sure of her feelings towards.

During the immediate exchange, Cate had backed off a little, like a struck puppy. She seemed legitimately sorry for what she had inadvertently done, but there was also a glimmer of hope, like she had a weight lifted off her chest.

"How could you?" Lux burst out furiously, "How could you just come in here like this and tear my world apart? You had no right!" She shrugged her shoulder away from her mother's hand and began pacing. "I could have gone my whole life without knowing or, at least, I could have found out on my parents' terms...since they were the ones who actually _wanted _me!"

"Lux, sweetheart," Morgan soothed, clearly the coolest head in the situation, "Please, calm down..."

But she didn't want to be calm. She wanted to be angry. "I was _happy _not knowing. Did you come here to ruin my life? You just shattered it to pieces and now you get to walk away like nothing happened, like everything is just the same, but it's not! It's never going to be the same!

"Lux..." Cate murmured, getting a little teary herself, "It wasn't that I didn't _want _you; I just wasn't ready to raise a child_, _I was still a kid myself. But I tracked you down now because I want – "

"Just stop!" Lux cried, "I don't want to hear it! It doesn't matter what you're doing now, what matters is that you didn't want me _then_... Just leave me alone!"

Tears prickled at her eyes and she knew she wasn't going to be able to hold them back anymore. To save herself having to break down in front of everyone, she turned on her heel and stormed from the room.

There was silence among the adults as the sound of Lux's footsteps could be heard along the hall, followed by her door slamming so hard the light fixtures rattled a little, then finally, the sound of her barricading herself in her room, walling herself off from everyone who had lied to her, who had betrayed her...


	6. Chapter 6

When Jodi came home that day, she sensed that there was something going on between her parents and sister. Her mother's eyes were red and slightly swollen, like she had been crying. Her father was quiet and smiling a lot less than he usually did. Lux was just in her room and she didn't even come down for dinner. There was definitely tension in the house, but no one would tell her anything. They just pretended that nothing was wrong.

She bit her lip when her parents tucked her into bed that night. "Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?" Emily smiled softly, pulling the covers over her.

"Is everything okay?" she asked carefully, almost afraid that her mother would be upset at her for asking.

"Everything's fine, Jodi." Derek made a lame attempt to pacify Jodi because neither of them knew how to explain the situation to a ten year old. "Don't worry, okay?"

"But Lux didn't come down for dinner and she never not comes down for dinner," the little girl reasoned, "And mommy's been crying..."

"Honey, mommy's just worried because Lux is sick." Emily made up an excuse for their behaviour today. "And she doesn't want you to get sick too, so she stayed in her room. She went to the doctor and now, she's resting. Don't worry, okay, sweetheart?"

Jodi bit her lip again and she looked like she didn't believe them, but then shrugged. "Okay," she yawned. "Lux will be okay tomorrow, right?"

"Of course," Derek smiled reassuringly. "Sleep, Jodi, you're tired."

The little girl nodded, "Good night, mommy. Night, daddy."

"Sweet dreams, darling." Kissing their daughter's forehead, they turned on the night-light before they left her alone.

Once they shut the door, Emily sighed and stood in the hallway for a couple of minutes, softly crying in Derek's arms. "Baby," he murmured, "Don't cry."

"What do we tell Jodi if everything isn't okay tomorrow?" she asked.

Derek sighed and hugged Emily tighter. After what happened in the afternoon, there was no way that everything could be fixed in twelve hours. "We'll figure it out tomorrow," he said. "We'll get through it together. We always do..."

"Lux? Honey, can we come in?" Emily asked gently for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day as she knocked on Lux's bedroom door.

Emily and Derek let out a sigh of relief when the door cracked open slightly. Lux had locked herself in the room for the rest of the day after that afternoon and they were worried sick about her. They felt their hearts break when they caught sight of their daughter's tear stained face and the tears still lingering in her eyes.

"You didn't have your dinner," Emily said softly as she settled at the edge of Lux's bed, "Remember, I told you last night, I'd make cookies? They're your favourite, chocolate chocolate chip." She handed Lux the plate of cookies and placed a glass of milk on her night stand.

"Thanks," the young girl mumbled.

"Honey," Derek began, settling close to his wife and holding her hand. He knew she needed the support and, to be honest, he needed a little comfort from her as well. "We're sorry you had to find out this way. We never wanted it to happen like that."

"If I hadn't found out today, would you have ever told me?"

"Honey, we intended to tell you when you turned eighteen," Emily replied, reaching to hold her hand.

"Why adoption?" she asked, staring at the plate of cookies on her lap. "You have Jodi..."

Derek and Emily shared a look and she silently encouraged him to do the talking, knowing she couldn't trust herself not to break down for the second time in front of Lux.

"See, your mom and I met in college; the first time I saw her, I knew I had to marry her and, obviously, I did. We got married right after we graduated and bought this house. We both had good jobs, we were very much in love, and we were so happy it was almost ridiculous," he relayed, smiling slightly at the memory. "But we knew our family wasn't complete yet. We've always loved children, so we began trying for a baby after we got married. But nothing happened after a year. The doctors told us that our chances of having a baby was very slim. It could happen, but it probably never would. We were heartbroken..."

"I'm sorry..."

"It was worth it," Emily replied. "We opted for adoption after struggling for a long time. We realized that it didn't matter if the baby shared the same DNA as us or not. We knew we'd love this baby like our own and, even if we didn't actually make the baby, she'd still be our child." Emily gently tucked Lux's hair behind her ears, stroking her cheeks and drying her tears as she did so. "Then, you came along and suddenly, all that heartache was worth it. Do you know how happy you made us when we held you for the first time?"

"You were crying," Lux said, recalling what her parents had told her about herself when she was just a baby.

"I was," Emily smiled. "We were so happy that you were a part of us and we were completely alright to spend the rest of our lives with just you."

"But Jodi..."

"Jodi was a pleasant surprise," Derek smiled tenderly. "After we got you, everything seemed to be fine again. Your mom and I went on with our daily routine and we completely forgot that your mom could still get pregnant. When you were five, your mom suspected that she might be pregnant, but with our issues, she wasn't sure and she didn't to give me false hope. She went to three doctors before she finally told me. Nine months later, you had the baby sister you'd been asking for."

"Lux, honey, look at me," Emily said, "You're still our baby. Like I said, DNA doesn't make us a family, it's the love we share that makes us a family. We don't love you or think of you any less than Jodi. No matter what happens, you're still our daughter. You are still a Morgan. Nothing will change that," she insisted.

"We don't know what else to say or do to make you believe us..." Derek continued gently. "It's okay if you're still mad at us and we're so sorry you had to find out this way. But you're not the _next_ best thing after we realized we couldn't have a baby. You and Jodi are the _best_ things that ever happened to your mom and I."


	7. Chapter 7

Lux groaned as she tossed and turned in bed, trying to get some much needed shut-eye, but she just couldn't fall asleep. How could she after all that had happened?

No matter how many times her parents tried to convince her that she wasn't the next best thing after having a child of their own, she still couldn't shake the feeling of being second best. She couldn't help but think she just got lucky..._really_ lucky. If her parents had never had a problem with having children of their own, she wouldn't have been their daughter. She would be that girl who no one wanted, who got moved from foster home to foster home and never understood the meaning of family.

She couldn't help but think she this life she had been living was stolen from someone else. Her parents, her sister, her friends, her room – her entire life, all never meant to be hers. This was all supposed to be another girl's...

God, she was _so_ lucky that her birth mother – Cate – happened to get knocked up at the winter formal and that she had chosen who she had to be the adoptive parents.

Whenever the subject of her birth mother crossed her mind, she got angry. Unlike her parents, she didn't have any conflicting emotions when it came to that woman. She didn't even want to be associated with her. She was absolutely furious.

She didn't understand why Cate would suddenly come back into her life after she gave her up sixteen years ago. From what she'd heard, that woman – the woman who'd given birth to her – had never even looked at her, never even held her once when she was born. She probably never hesitated to give her up...

What was wrong with her! She gave her up at birth, then sixteen years later, she decided to track her down with the intention of getting to know her? Lux couldn't even begin to fathom what was going on in Cate's mind. Did she really think that she would want to get to know the person who gave her up to strangers without a second thought like an unwanted puppy? Even puppies deserved better than that. Did she think that she would leave her parents, the people who loved her for sixteen years, for Cate, who only thought of her after she bumped into her at the mall weeks ago?

And what if they hadn't happened to run into each other? Would she have even remembered at all? Was her own daughter _that _unimportant to her?

The more she thought of it, the angrier she got. If Cate really cared about her, she wouldn't have barged in and messed up her life. Didn't she know that she could have gone her _whole_ life without knowing out the truth? Or, at the very least, when she found out, it could have been in a gentler way... On her parents' terms; they'd been the ones who raised her, they at least deserved to be the ones who decided whether or not to break the news.

How _dare_ that woman come into her home and ruin everyone's lives!

This wasn't fair. How could one person do _so much_ damage to so many lives?

…...

That couldn't have gone any worse if she'd _tried _to screw it up.

Cate took another swig of liquor, this time dispensing with the glass altogether, sipping straight from the bottle. Ryan wasn't home that night and she was immensely glad; there was no way she could have possibly explained anything to him without revealing everything. Sometimes, she wished she could just come out with the truth and let him in, but that wasn't who she was...she wasn't someone who trusted others with her secrets.

For a few moments, she considered calling Baze and telling him about Lux... That was when she decided she'd probably had a little too much to drink. Calling Baze would only make this situation so much worse and if there was one thing she didn't need, it was more trouble.

She'd already made a pretty thorough mess of things.

God, how could she have been _so _stupid? What in the world had possessed her to go knocking on their door after all those years and try to act like nothing at all was wrong? She'd abandoned her _daughter –_ the life she'd created – and she expected things to go smoothly as if they'd been friends all along?

It was ridiculous.

But then again, she'd known things weren't going to be easy...she just hadn't expected them to go _so _badly.

Sure, she had imagined Lux would be upset; if things were reversed, she knew she would be too. But upset didn't even begin to accurately describe Lux's reaction. She'd been so incredibly angry – when she'd lashed out at her, she'd felt like crying. Her own daughter hated her, wanted nothing whatsoever to do with her. It broke her heart.

And the way she'd looked at her adoptive parents – the look in her eyes could be described as nothing other than betrayal. She'd so obviously been torn apart by the realization that she was the black sheep of the family...and everyone else had been torn apart with her, the entire family ripping apart at the seams.

God, she felt like such a horrible person for doing that to them. But she'd honestly thought things would go better... She'd thought they could work something out.

Part of her believed they still could...

They were already out in the rain, no point in putting on their raincoats now. She'd already opened Pandora's box, it's not as if they could undo that damage. They could never unlearn what she'd told them and it's not like she could possibly cause any _more _damage to their family. The truth was already out there, ignoring wasn't going to change anything.

If Lux already knew she was her mother, what was the harm in pushing to see her? One day, she was going to want to know her real parents. One day, she was going to want to know where she came from. And when that day came, she'd be more than ready. What harm could possibly come from making that day come a little sooner? True, Lux didn't want to see her _now_, but surely with time...

…...

"What are you doing up here, Princess?" Derek asked quietly, wrapping a blanket around Lux's shoulders. "You must be freezing."

She shrugged the blanket a little tighter around her shoulders, hugging her knees against her chest. "I guess I had a lot of thinking to do..."

He carefully sat himself down next to her, taking a few moment to silently watch her staring out at the night sky. This was always where she came to think, the little ledge of roof just outside her bedroom window; it was quiet because no one ever came looking for her.

"How'd you know I'd be out here?" she asked after a several minutes of gazing off into the distance.

"I always know where you are," he shrugged, "Fathers have a sixth sense...like a GPS."

She gave a slight smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes which looked as sad as ever. "I like it out here because nothing blocks the view of the sky..." she said softly, never looking at him. "I like to look up at the stars and lose myself in the big picture – it makes me feel like my problems aren't really as big as they seem."

"That's part of the reason why we moved out here...the view," he told her, "Your mother always complained that she never got to see the night sky quite like this in DC."

"Is she mad?" she asked quietly.

"Of course she's not mad. Why would she be mad at you?"

"Because I was mad..." she said around a choked back sob, "Because I didn't believe you guys. Because I shut you out and didn't want to listen..."

The wind blew her loose curls across her face and he gently reached out to brush them behind her ear, wiping away a few stray tears in the process. "Your mom's in our room crying because she thinks you're mad at her..." He sighed, moving to sit close enough to wrap an arm around her. "It's okay to be mad, but we've only ever wanted what's best for you, to make you happy...please don't push us away..."


	8. Chapter 8

Several days had come and gone and the tension between Lux and her parents was still there. They did their best to hide it from Jodi – the ten year old didn't need to be sucked into this mess too. Emily and Derek had been patiently waiting for their eldest daughter to come to them. They had considered making the first move more than a couple of times, but decided that it would be better if they didn't force her. After all, she needed time to sort out her thoughts and feelings over this revelation. All they could hope for was that she wouldn't push them away...

As they waited, Emily slowly grew more and more disheartened; so did Derek, but he wouldn't – couldn't – admit it. He needed to be strong; for Emily, who cried herself to sleep practically every night, for Lux, who had been put through this turmoil without warning, and for Jodi, who needed to grow up in a normal and safe family. Deep down, he knew Lux wasn't really mad at them, she wouldn't push them away, she just didn't know how to face them, how to deal with the whirlwind of emotions inside her.

One night, after they'd tucked the girls into bed, they cuddled up on their bed, quietly waiting for sleep to take over. He thanked God that Emily didn't cry that night – he couldn't take anymore of her tears. Every time she cried, he felt as though a knife had pierced his heart. Instead, she murmured, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"You have more than enough on your hands, you shouldn't have to comfort me too," she whispered apologetically.

"We're married, we're supposed to support each other," he reasoned. "For better, for worse, remember?"

"I don't deserve you," she sighed.

"Nonsense," he insisted. "Don't worry. We'll get through this just fine."

"How do you know? What if Lux decides to leave us to live with Cate?"

"If that's what she wants, we have to let her go," he answered softly, even if the mere thought of it broke his heart. "Ultimately, we want her to be happy, right? If she thinks she'd be happier with Cate, we can't hold her back... But she knows we love her just like our own..."

"I wish there was something more we could do," she sighed again.

As they spoke, little did they know Lux had been outside their bedroom and she had overheard everything they'd said. She hadn't realized that her silence had caused her parents so much pain. She also hadn't realized that she was unconsciously pushing them away.

Biting her lip, she decided she had to stop running away from the problem and talk to her parents about it first thing in the morning...

Lux bit her lip as she looked out the café's window. She was supposed to meet Cate, her birth mother, here to get the answers she had been looking for. As much as she hated to see her again, she had no choice because Cate was the only who had the answers to her endless questions.

Drumming her fingers on the table in an outlet for her nervous energy, she contemplated taking off before Cate arrived. She wasn't here yet, she still had the chance to run away and never see her again...but she knew she couldn't. She needed to face her problems. She needed to act like a mature adult.

As she waited, she couldn't help but think of her parents. They must be so worried about her. Her mom had offered to come with her, but she'd told her that she was a big girl now and she needed to do this on her own.

She mind drifted to the talk they'd had earlier...

_Lux stepped into the kitchen after breakfast and found her parents in a tight embrace. It was common in their household to walk in and see their parents in a hug or even a kiss, but they had been hugging more often since that fateful day. _

_She briefly wondered if, when she got married, she and her husband would be as loving as her parents. As far as she could remember, she had never seen or heard her parents fight. They told her fighting would never solve the problem, it was always better to talk things out. _

_And she wondered what she had done to deserve parents like them..._

"_Mom? Dad?"_

_Wiping away her tears, Emily feigned a smile, "What is it, honey?"_

"_Can we talk?"_

_Emily and Derek shared a look and Lux caught a flicker of hope in their eyes. "Sure," Derek smiled, guiding them to the living room. As they sat, he asked, "What do you want to talk to us about?"_

"_I... I'm sorry." She looked down at her hands, tears prickling her eyes. She hadn't realized how much she missed just sitting around and talking to her parents. She also hadn't realized that pushing them away hurt her too... "I didn't mean to push you away..."_

"_You have nothing to be sorry for, Lux," Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around the young girl. "We understand it's not easy for you..."_

"_Is that what you wanted to talk about?" Derek prompted gently. _

"_Not really," she sniffed, "I... I want to meet Cate."_

_An uncomfortable silence loomed over them and Lux wondered if she had crossed the line by asking to meet the woman who'd made a mess out of everything. "Are you mad?" she asked softly, almost timidly._

"_No," Emily shook her head, "Not at all... We're just surprised. Are you sure you want to meet her?"_

"_I don't want to see her...but I have to," she admitted, "I need answers and she's the only one who has them."_

"_Okay," Derek nodded, "We have her number. We can call her...if you're sure about this..." he said again, wanting to give her the chance to back out if she wasn't sure about it. They didn't want her to go out there and get hurt by the same woman twice._

_Her gaze shifted between her parents, carefully watching their reactions. "As long as you're sure, we'll be okay," Emily assured. "Do you want me to be there with you?"_

_As much as Lux wanted to say 'yes' she knew she couldn't. She needed to do this alone, without the presence of her parents because she knew with them around, she wouldn't be able to control her emotions. She knew she'd blame Cate more for ruining her perfect family and causing her parents more pain than they ever deserved. _

"_No," she said determinedly, "I need to do this alone..."_

She snapped out of her thoughts when Cate sat down at the table. She felt a slow, seething anger start to bubble up when she watched the woman opposite her smiling brightly.

"Hi," Cate smiled, "I'm so glad..."

"I'm not here to make nice," Lux cut her off bluntly, "I'm here for answers. I would have been happy to never see you again, but I have to because you're the only one who has the answers to my questions."

"Okay." Cate was visibly upset by her statement – but she couldn't really blame the girl. After all, she was the one who made a mess out of everything for everyone in less than five minutes.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything..."


	9. Chapter 9

Staring at the mug of hot chocolate in front of her, Lux wondered where she should start. She had spent days trying to find answers, but when that one person who could give her all the answers was right in front of her, she didn't know where to start.

Cate patiently waited for the young girl to figure out her thoughts. She seemed to be in so much turmoil; she wanted to wrap her arms around her daughter and comfort her, but she knew that would only make her even angrier. She didn't need Lux hating her more...

"Where were you?"

"What?"

"Where were you?" she repeated slowly. "You say that I'm so important, that you want to get to know me... I was here my whole life, where were you all that time? You never even checked, you never wondered if I was okay?"

"I knew I didn't have to worry," Cate said, "I knew I had picked the best possible parents to raise you, to give you a better life than I could ever hope to give you. I was doing what was best for you."

"It wasn't for me," she said shaking her head dismissively, "If it was for me, you would have checked. You were doing what was best for _you_."

"I was _sixteen_, Lux," Cate said desperately, "I had no one to turn to... My mom was drinking her way through another divorce, I even wrote a letter to my father...but when I realized I didn't know where to send it, that's when it hit me – I had _no idea _what a good parent was, there was no way I could be one at sixteen."

"You didn't have to be a parent," Lux snapped, "You just had to _care_, to act like I was important! But you didn't! You didn't care! You never even held me... How could you just give me, your baby, away like it was nothing, like I didn't matter!"

"Lux, I..." she tried to explain.

"I didn't matter to you!"

"Lux, please, let me explain," Cate pleaded, "I knew I couldn't keep you, that was never an option. I wanted you to have parents, a real family, people who could look after you the way I never could. And I knew that if I held you, I would want you and I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't do that to you or your parents... I never held you when you were a baby because that was the only way I could go through with it."

"Then why did you never look for me?" she shot back acidly, "I was already someone else's problem, so why couldn't you have checked on me?"

"Your parents wanted a closed adoption because they were worried about what would happen if I decided I wanted to see you..." She gave a small ironic laugh, but Lux didn't seem to appreciate the irony. "At the time, I agreed because I knew they were _the _parents for my baby and I didn't want to put myself in a situation I wasn't strong enough to handle anyway."

Lux gripped at her mug so tightly her knuckles were white, struggling to keep herself from making a scene. She didn't know why the woman's excuses – logical ones at that – infuriated her so much, but she could almost feel her blood pressure rising with each passing minute. "So why now? Why, if things were going _so well_, did you suddenly decide you wanted to be a mom again?"

Cate bit at her lip; this one was going to hurt... She'd gone into this with the mindset that honesty was the best policy, but there was no way Lux would ever forgive her for this. "Honestly, it was because I ran into you at the mall. I'd come to terms with what I'd done, but seeing you then...it just brought all these emotions rushing back. All the what-ifs I'd been struggling with after the adoption began nagging at me again. I just needed to assure myself that I'd done the right thing."

"You're so selfish," she spat. "All you wanted was to not feel guilty for leaving a defenceless baby in the hands of strangers. You just wanted to tell yourself you made the right decision giving up your own child. Tell me, would you have tracked me down if I hadn't bumped into you at the mall?"

"No."

"Shocker. Who's the guy?" she asked, "The guy who knocked you up."

"Your father..."

"He's not my father," she cut her off flatly. "My father is Derek Morgan. The man who read me bedtime stories and chased away the nightmares. He was the one who carried me to the doctors when I was sick. And, just for the record, my mother is Emily Prentiss-Morgan."

"Okay." Cate had to bite back her tears. It stung to know that in Lux's eyes, she was nothing more than the woman who shared the same DNA with her and gave birth to her. She wasn't wrong, but it still hurt. "That guy was Nate Bazile."

"Does he even know I exist?"

"He knew I was pregnant," she admitted, "He signed off on his parental rights once you were born. But beyond that, he knows nothing." Lux rolled her eyes, clearly having heard exactly what she'd expected. "But he wasn't daddy material, he wasn't the kind of person I wanted to look after you."

She paused for a moment before realizing how spiteful that had sounded. She quickly tried to back-pedal, "I'm not saying that out of spite, it wasn't an 'if I can't have her, no one can' kind of thing...he was just juvenile, not the kind of guy who was going to man up and take responsibility for his actions. He was happy to be rid of you."

She ran a hand over her face, wanting to kick herself for the way she kept putting her foot in her mouth. That had so obviously been the wrong thing to say to a girl feeling hurt and betrayed because she'd been abandoned by her birth parents.

She shook her head. "If he was such a juvenile, why did you go out with him?"

"I didn't go out with him," she explained, "I just... That night was a mistake. Nothing would have happened if I didn't stupidly think that a jock like him would be interested in a nerd like me. He sweet-talked me into going into his van... I should have known."

"So, all I am to you is a mistake... I'm just a reminder of the mistake you made sixteen years ago."

"Lux..."

She shook her head. "You know what, coming here was a mistake. Just leave me and my family alone – you've done enough damage already."


	10. Chapter 10

Cate nervously ran a hand through her hair as she stood outside the Morgans' house, waiting patiently for someone to answer the door. As she waited, she looked around their home and wondered if she was doing the right thing coming back here to ask Derek and Emily for help with Lux. This home, this neighbourhood, were everything she'd ever wanted as a child.

The white picket fence, the two-car garage, the four-bedroom home, and a loving family – it was almost too perfect to be real. She felt a little comforted by the fact that Lux had grown up in such a wonderful environment; she really couldn't have asked for better parents for her daughter and it brought her back to that very question: was she doing the right thing to come looking for Lux again after all the trouble she had caused the first time?

Before she could find an answer, the door cracked open, revealing a little brunette girl, almost a miniature version of Emily, but with Derek's eyes. "Can I help you?" she asked, smiling, "Are you lost? You look lost."

"I guess I am kinda lost," Cate replied sadly, "My name's Cate. Are your mommy and daddy home?"

"Jodi!" A strong masculine voice reached their ears and the young girl visibly cringed. "How many times have we told you to not open the door by yourself?"

"I'm sorry." Cate saw the puppy dog eyes Jodi used on her father and saw a little more of Derek in the little girl. It almost made her regret ever tracking Lux down and confronting them without thinking of the consequences. She really felt bad for ruining this picture-perfect family with her selfishness, but she had no choice – it was the only chance she had to get to know her own daughter.

As her father came to answer the door, the young girl grabbed his hand and hid behind him, suddenly bashful. "Who is..." he started to ask, stopping short upon seeing Cate through the partially opened doorway. He shut his eyes tightly and let out a measured breath, obviously wishing it were anyone else. "Emily," he called back into the house.

Coming around the corner, she shot him a questioning look, only to have her expression change to a mixture of disbelief and anger a split second later; he was just glad she wasn't holding glass after the broken dish the first time around.

Taking great care to hide her emotions from her younger daughter, Emily placed a gentle hand on Jodi's shoulder and said, "I need you to go tidy your room, okay, sweetie?"

The girl nodded, ponytail bobbing. Intuitively knowing something was wrong, she hugged her mother and said, "I love you," before bounding off.

Emily joined her husband at the door, reaching out to hold his hand so tightly it nearly cut off his circulation. He gave her a sad smile, aiming for reassuring, but couldn't quite manage when his own worries were so overwhelming.

"Why are you here again?" Emily asked finally, not making any effort to conceal her anger.

"I need your help."

"What makes you think we'd help you?" she asked exasperatedly. "After you ruined _everything_ we've worked so hard for. Who in their right mind would help you?" she spat.

"Honey," Derek soothed, wrapping his arm around his wife. Trying his best not to lash out at Cate, he said calmly, "You need to leave and it would be best if you don't come back. You've done enough damage already."

"Please," Cate begged, "I really need your help. You're the only ones who can help me."

"I really don't want to," Emily shook her head. "But tell me something, what did you say to Lux earlier? Did you know she came home in tears and locked herself in her room? She wouldn't talk to anyone. What did you say to her?"

Cate cringed inwardly as she watched the reactions of the couple while she relayed the events which happened earlier with Lux and she had a sinking feeling that nobody would ever want to help her again.

"You told her she was a mistake!"

"I didn't say that..."

"Did you realize that telling her that the night she was conceived was nothing but a mistake, implied that you think _she_ is a mistake? That you never wanted her...you regret everything that has to do with her." Emily felt her heart break for her daughter. "She's sixteen. She's trying to get over all the changes her body is going through, she's coping with homework and tests, she's trying to fit in with everyone at school and here you are, telling her that she's nothing but a mistake. What were you thinking?"

"I was only trying to explain that I didn't _want_ to be a teenage mother and that I couldn't let her be the one to suffer because of it..." She stopped, knowing she was never going to be able to explain herself or undo what she had done, she was never going to be able to erase the hurt she'd seen in Lux's eyes, the same hurt echoed in her parents' eyes. "Look," she sighed wearily, "Nothing I say now is ever going to change what I said, but I swear, I never once thought of her as a mistake. I know it came out horribly wrong and I'm sorry for hurting her. I only want to make it up to her."

They seemed unconvinced, though – not that she could blame them. They remained silent, exchanging a look that said a thousand things, not one of which she could guess.

Taking a deep breath, she made a desperate last-ditch effort, praying to whatever God would listen that they'd take pity on her plight. "I don't expect you to understand or to forgive me, but would you please just _help_ me!"

"Give us a second," Derek said, shifting Emily and himself behind the door.

"Why are we still talking to her, Derek?"

"Because we know we have to help her."

"I don't know that," Emily said stubbornly.

"Baby," he whispered softly, pulling her into a hug, "You know I want to slam the door in her face as much as you do, but we can't. We have to help Cate so we can help Lux. We don't want our daughter to spend the rest of her life hating her birth mother, do we?"

There was a moment of silence in which Cate held her breath at the other side of the door, hoping for the best. "I really hate it when you're right. Especially this time," Emily murmured.

"I know. Me too..."

There was another moment of silence and Cate couldn't help, but glance though the crack at the side of the door to see what was going on. When she caught of glimpse the couple in an embrace, she had the urge to give up on getting to know Lux for good. This family didn't deserve all the pain she put them through... But the truth remained; she let her own daughter go once, she wasn't about to make that same mistake again.

As the door swung open again, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding while waiting for them. Their decision could literally change her life.

"We'll talk to Lux," Derek said, "But we can't promise we can change anything. Ultimately, it's her decision."

"That's good enough," she breathed, "Thank you."


	11. Chapter 11

After sending Cate away with the promise that they would try to talk to Lux about giving her another chance, Emily quickly pulled Derek up to their bedroom and locked the door behind them. Sighing heavily, she sat down at the edge of their bed and leaned against her husband when he settled beside her.

"What are we doing, Derek?" she asked tiredly after several minutes of silence. "I'm not sure if we're doing the right thing... I feel terrible," she added bitterly.

She wasn't sure who she wanted to direct the bitterness and anger towards.

Maybe at Cate, for hurting Lux more than once. Maybe at herself, for agreeing to help the woman who hurt her daughter. Maybe again, at herself, for not being able to protect her own child. Maybe at the universe, for allowing something so painful to happen to an innocent girl like Lux.

"You don't think I feel terrible too?" he whispered scathingly.

"What?"

"You don't think _I_ feel bad that my baby girl has to be sucked into this whirlpool of misery? You don't think it hurts me to see you cry yourself to sleep every night? You don't think I'm scared that Jodi could find out and everything we've worked so hard for would be gone in a flash? You don't think I know what you're going through?" He hadn't realized that he was raising his voice as the seconds went by and he most definitely hadn't realized that he was lashing out his anger at his wife.

She stared at him in complete confusion and shock. "I... I'm sorry," she stammered, "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

Derek felt a sense of remorse come crashing down on him. He had never shouted at Emily like that before, as if he were blaming her for all the pain he was going through. He had promised he never would because she'd told him it reminded her of her childhood with her parents fighting and yelling every night for as long as she could remember. He knew what hurt her the most wasn't that he yelled at her, but that he hadn't kept his promise.

And that, in turn, hurt him...

"Baby..." he breathed.

"We should talk to Lux now," she said, standing up from the bed and avoiding eye contact with him.

"No. Emily, we can't talk to Lux when we're..." he trailed off, unable to describe the situation they were in. "_We_ need to talk," he said softly, gently nudging her to sit down again. "I'm sorry," he sighed, settling beside her. "I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what happened. It's like a dam broke and I couldn't stop it...and before I knew it, I was yelling. I'm sorry, Em."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not," he said, exasperated. "I broke our promise."

"Derek," she sighed, lacing her fingers with his. "I'm not saying that I'm not upset that you broke our promise – but it's not entirely your fault. I made mistakes too..."

"What are you saying?"

"I forgot to think of you. I was so wrapped up in my own emotions that I forgot about you. I mean, I knew you were having a hard time, but I didn't realize that I wasn't paying attention to you." She bit her lip, willing herself not to cry again, even as the tears began to trail down her cheeks. "I was too busy being angry at everything else that I neglected you. You never had a chance to be angry or get upset. You were too busy taking care of everyone else and I was too selfish to notice my husband was cracking under the pressure. I'm sorry."

He held her tightly against his chest. "You don't have to be sorry. I know how hard it was for you before we got Lux...it's not easy feeling like you're going to feel that pain of loss all over again."

"It's not easy for you either..." she murmured sadly, voice muffled from the depths of his embrace. "It's not fair that you can't breakdown because I've been such a wreck, it's not fair of me to put so much pressure on you."

"Shh," he soothed, pressing a kiss to her head, back in protector mode. "I'm the man of this family, I have to take care of you and if that means I have to stay strong so you can lean on me, then so be it." He was silent for a moment, blocking out everything except the comfort of having her in his arms. "I'm sorry I got angry with you," he whispered, "Forgive me?"

"You're forgiven," she smiled, pulling him in for a tender kiss. "I love you."

...

Lux didn't know how long she had been sitting in her room, staring out the window. She vaguely remembered hearing the doorbell ring, as if from a distance, and after her a while, she thought she heard her father yelling, then some muffled noises coming from her parents' room.

Her father never raised his voice, not at her or Jodi and most definitely not at her mother. In normal circumstances, she'd be afraid and she'd check out what was happening, but today, she was just too tired to be bothered with anything.

She sat by the window, brooding on how her birth mother had implied that she was nothing but a stupid mistake. The more she thought about it, the more it hurt and the more it hurt, the angrier she got. And sitting by the window alone, she felt more lonely than she'd ever felt before in her life.

She wanted nothing more than a hug from her parents, but she couldn't – or wouldn't – ask because she was too stubborn and too ashamed to go to them for help. Honestly, she kind of blamed them for everything that had happened over the weeks, not really reconciling that it wasn't their fault. Everything they'd done was to protect her from Cate, to give her a normal childhood and a perfect family. They never wanted this to happen and they were suffering as much as she was.

Wiping the tears from her face, she almost wanted to laugh. She was only sixteen and she'd cried more than anyone should ever have to cry in their entire life...and she wasn't nearly finished shedding tears over this. More tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought of all the pain her parents had to undergo, thanks to her.

Maybe Cate was right. She was a mistake.

A sharp knock on her door brought her out of her reverie. Guessing it was her mother, she quickly wiped away her tears before opening the door. "Yeah?"

Running her fingers though her hair, Emily smiled sadly. "Your dad needs your help...in the basement."

"The basement?" she asked skeptically. "I thought you guys were remodelling the basement and you didn't want us to go down there because of all the nails and stuff."

"Just go help him, okay?"

"Okay."

…...

Later that night, as they cuddled together in bed, Derek gently kissed the back of her neck, silently apologizing for his outburst earlier. "I love you," he whispered softly into her ear. Emily smiled softly, pulling his arms tighter around her body and sighing quietly. She knew he still felt bad for what happened earlier, but it didn't bother her; she was actually glad that he had a chance to vent his frustrations.

"Baby, I need to tell you something."

"What about?" he murmured, gently kissing her neck.

Emily turned and cocked her head to look up at Derek. "Earlier, when you were in the shower, I called Pen and told her what happened. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it before but I only thought about her recently."

"You called her because we know Lux really likes her godmother and hopefully, Lux would talk to her. We both know she's not telling us everything," Derek elaborated for his wife.

"Pretty much," she replied, shrugging. "Then, she _insisted_ that she takes Lux for a girls' day out. She said, and I quote, 'A responsible fairy godmother needs to be there for her goddaughter when she needs her.' And I agreed, I thought it'd be good for Lux to go out and relax."

"Yeah, you're probably right," he smiled.

"Aren't I most of the time?" she smiled.

"Yes," he chuckled softly. It felt good to laugh, it had been too long since laughter had been heard in their household and he told her that.

"I know," Emily smiled softly. "But you're not mad that I didn't talked to you before..."

"No, not at all," he assured. "You're just doing what's best for our baby girl. How can I be mad at you for that?"

"I love you," she smiled, kissing him tenderly.

"I love you too."


	12. Chapter 12

Lux laid down on her bed and stared blankly at the celling. Her muscles ached as if she had just completed a triathlon and her limbs felt like jelly. She supposed it was a good thing – she was so tired, she wouldn't have to cry herself to sleep that night. Taking out drywall all by yourself with nothing but a sledge hammer would do that to you.

"_This is what you want me to help you with?" She shot her parents an incredulous look before her eyes drifted back to the sledge hammer in her father's hand and the drywall in front of her. "Why?"_

"_Because we need to take that wall down to open up the room," Derek replied causally with a good-natured one shouldered shrug._

"_I know that," Lux said, somewhat annoyed. "What's the other reason? You never let us touch these tools. Mom doesn't even like it when we come down here."_

_Emily sighed. "We know you're angry and we don't want you to keep it bottled up."_

"_And you really think taking it out on the wall will help?" she asked skeptically, despite being somewhat excited by the prospect of going at the wall with a hammer._

_Emily and Derek shared a significant look and smiled. "We've tried it. It works. Just be really careful, okay? We don't want you to get hurt," he said, handing her a pair of safety goggles and a mask._

_..._

_A little more than an hour since Lux started the demolition, there was little sign that a wall had once stood there. A gritty coat of wood splinters and gypsum settled on the cement floor and the pale blue shirt and jeans she was wearing had turned a soft shade of grey by the time she finally stopped what she was doing and carefully placed the hammer against the adjacent wall. _

_Emily and Derek had been in the room, watching her the entire time. Every time their daughter swung the hammer at the wall, Emily couldn't help but feel her heart break – Lux went at the wall like it had done her wrong when all she was trying to do was to release all the anger that she had been bottling up for the past few weeks._

_For a few moments, she seemed to admire her work as she pulled off her mask and goggles, before pressing a palm flat upon one of the still standing walls and leaning against it. Her parents smiled at each other, glad that something inside her seemed a little more at peace._

_At least, until she turned so that both shoulders were in contact with the wall and sank down to the floor. That's when they saw the tear tracks meandering through the dust on her cheeks._

_Derek immediately went into protector mode when he saw the tears, but Emily held him back. "Let me," she whispered._

"_Are you sure?" he asked, concerned that she wouldn't be able to handle the emotional stress, considering what had happened in their room earlier._

"_I can do this." She squeezed his hand gently, assuring him._

"_Okay." He kissed her forehead softly. "I'll be here."_

_Gently, Emily settled beside Lux and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She smiled sadly as the young girl rested her head on her shoulder, sniffling quietly. "Tell me," Emily whispered while stroking Lux's dust covered hair. _

"_She... She thinks I'm a mistake..."_

"_What do you think?"_

"_I don't know," she whispered, her voice breaking, "Maybe she's right – I am a mistake. This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't here..."_

_It was heartbreaking to realize that she actually seemed to have bought into Cate's thoughtless word choice. "Lux, listen to me," Emily said seriously, "You are not a mistake. I don't know what made Cate say that, but it is absolutely not true. And even if she does think that, all you need to remember is that you were meant to be born because you were meant to be in our lives."_

"_But I've done nothing but made you cry all these weeks," Lux argued, "I even heard Dad yelling earlier and he's _never_ done that. I made him so stressed that he yelled at you. How can you still think I'm supposed to be in your lives?"_

"_Because you've made us happier than we've ever been for the past sixteen years," she answered gently. "You were meant to be here. You're the best daughter anyone could ever ask for. Jodi thinks she has the best sister in the world. I don't care what Cate thinks of you; I think you're the best thing that ever happened to us," Emily insisted, needing her daughter to see that Cate was wrong. "You were meant to be our daughter and Jodi was meant to have you as her sister. You're not a mistake."_

"_Your mom's right," Derek said gently as he sat down beside the girls. "I know you don't believe us, but we'll tell you that every single day until you believe it. As for Cate, she doesn't know you enough to say that about you. We love you and that's not gonna change...ever."_

"_I don't deserve you guys," she whispered, sobbing quietly against her mother's chest. "And I'm sorry I got mad at you."_

"_It's okay. We still love you."_

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't realized that her phone was ringing. Quickly, she reached for the phone and answered it, a small smile gracing her features when she heard the voice of the caller on the other end.

"Kitten!" came the excited squeal, "Are you excited for our girls' day-out?"

"Hi, Aunty Pen," she smiled.

"So, Where do you want to go?" she asked, "You know, we can go anywhere you want."

Lux giggled softly for the first time in two weeks. "I know we can but I'm not sure if I'm in the mood to go anywhere. I'm too moody," she added, sighing softly.

"I know what happened, honey," Penelope replied, wistfully. "Your mom told me. I wish it didn't happen that way..."

"Me too," she sighed.

"And she agreed that I take you out and we'd spend the entire day together. So,we _are _going out," she insisted, not giving Lux any chance to to reject the idea. "I haven't seen my baby god-daughter for a long time and I wanna spend time with her."

"You're a good fairy godmother," Lux said softly.

"I know, honey. I know."


	13. Chapter 13

"Thanks for doing this, Pen," Derek said, letting her into the house. Immediately, Jodi flung herself at her aunt, giving her a hug. Derek smiled at the girl for a moment before gently ushering her from the room, "Go tell your sister it's time to go."

As the young girl ran off, crying out her sister's name, Penelope asked quietly, "How's she holding up?"

"I don't know," he sighed sadly, "She's pulling away... She tries to convince herself that she's not angry with Emily and I, but I can see it in her eyes – she feels betrayed." He kept his voice low, not wanting to be overheard; Penelope was one of his best friends and possibly the only person outside his family that he felt like he could confide in, especially with something of this magnitude. "I don't know what to do anymore...and I don't know how much more Emily can take, she's barely hanging on as is."

As if on cue, Emily padded into the room to see who was at the door. She looked considerably worse for wear, eyes red from crying, face pale and gaunt, the stress making her lose weight. Last night had been one of the bad ones when she lay awake for hours, sometimes crying, sometimes just worrying – and every sleepless minute was obvious in her appearance.

"Oh, kitten," Penelope murmured sympathetically, pulling her friend into a comforting hug. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Emily tried to smile in thanks, but couldn't manage more than a pained grimace. She leaned into her husband, both for physical and metaphorical support, and he tenderly ran a hand up and down her back.

"Don't worry," Penelope assured, "This is just something she has to deal with, she'll get through it when she's ready to make her peace. I promise everything will be okay." She could see clearly on their faces that they were trying very hard to believe her – that they wanted to believe her – but things just seemed so bleak at the moment.

…...

"I'm adopted too, you know," Penelope said quietly, after the manicurists left them alone.

"What?"

"I wasn't adopted when I was a baby, I was adopted at eighteen."

"Why?"

"My parents died in a car crash. Drunk driver," she shrugged. "I wasn't eighteen yet when they passed, and my uncle took me in. He didn't want to see his only niece in foster homes but his wife wasn't too happy about having another mouth to feed. They already had three children of their own and they're not rich."

"I'm so sorry."

"Look, I know what you're going through," she smiled sadly, reaching out to hold the young girl's hand. "And I want you to you're not alone."

"I know," she said quietly, "Mom and Dad keep telling me that..."

"But you don't believe them," Penelope said knowingly.

"They don't know what it's like," she burst out, having kept everything inside for so long. She immediately looked a little surprised by her own outburst, then sighed, trusting that her godmother would keep anything she said in confidence. "They try to understand, but they don't – they can't..."

"What do they not understand?"

"Everything!" she sighed. "They don't know what it's like to know that the perfect life I've been living is nothing but a lie. Nobody knows what it's like to know that I wasn't wanted before I was born. I wasn't supposed to be here. I just got lucky."

"Oh, honey," she murmured, gently squeezing her goddaughter's hand, "Maybe your birth-parents didn't want you, but your parents definitely did; they hoped and prayed for you everyday for a very long time."

"Not me," Lux argued, "It wasn't me they wanted, they just wanted a baby. Maybe this was all supposed to be someone else's life, maybe I was supposed to have grown up in foster care instead of some other kid who had a crappy life growing up because I took the life they were supposed to live..."

"Your birth mother picked them for you. I can't see any reason why she wouldn't but that's not the point. The point is out of so many babies, they got you; don't you think it's the universe's way of telling you, you were meant to be in this family?" she asked gently. "Maybe you think it's just a coincidence, you got lucky but your parents believe you were meant to be their daughter and they never thought otherwise. You ever everything they ever wanted and more."

When Lux remained silent, playing with her freshly manicured nails. "It's not just about feeling unwanted and lied to is it?"

"No," she whispered, sobbing quietly. "I'm angry. I'm so angry and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't think I've even been this mad in my life."

"It's normal to be angry," Penelope said softly, running her thumb over Lux's knuckles. "I was angry at everything when my parents died. It's okay. I was furious at my parents for leaving me. I was furious at the doctors who couldn't save my parents. I wanted to kill the drunk driver but he was dead too. I was furious at myself for not being able to do anything to save my parents. You don't have to feel guilty about being mad at Emily and Derek, or even Jodi," she added encouraging, "It's okay."

"No, it's not. I feel terrible," the young girl insisted. "Mom and dad... they've been nothing but great parents. And Jodi doesn't even know what's going on. I can't be mad at them. It's wrong," she whispered scathingly.

"It's not," she shook her head. "There's no right or wrong when it comes to your feelings. You have to accept that you're angry with everyone and everything before you can get better. And your family will be there for you every step of the way."

She dug into her bag, pulling out a hand-made card clearly made by a certain ten-year old. "This is from Jodi, she gave it to me before you came down. She told me you've been sad and she doesn't like that her big sister is sad. She loves you, we all do, and all we want is for you to be happy. And to us, you're not someone else's baby that your parents brought home, you _are_ their baby. You need to believe that."

"Can I?"

"Of course you can, honey," Penelope smiled, hugging Lux tightly. "You are the best thing that ever happened to your parents. Don't forget that."


	14. Chapter 14

"You should go back to bed," Derek murmured softly as his wife leaned against him, almost as if she didn't even have the energy to stand on her own. He wrapped his arms around her gently, stroking her hair – now, more than ever, she needed the comfort of having him close.

"I can't," she whispered, "I'm scared, Derek...God, I'm so afraid. I'm scared that things won't get better, that Lux is going to be upset with us forever, that she's going to resent us, hate us... What if she can't get past this? What if she doesn't want to be a part of our family anymore?" She tried to choke back a sob. "Every time I close my eyes, I see her walking out, her empty room... I'm afraid to sleep, afraid that I won't wake up from this nightmare."

'Barely hanging on' didn't even begin to cover it...she was falling apart at the seams right before his eyes. And he could do nothing but watch, trying desperately to pick up the pieces as she fell apart. He didn't even care anymore that he never got the chance to be upset over the situation – he knew it was nothing compared to the desperation with which she was trying to cling to her family...

They'd had to wait so long to have their family and, back then, he could tell that every day they had to wait for their baby was that much harder on her, that she was that much closer to breaking down. Lux had changed all that, she'd made their entire lives better, but right now, there was no telling how much longer that might last. And little by little, Emily was remembering all that pain, how much it had hurt to be so close to having a family and then to lose it all...it was all coming back and it was killing her from the inside out.

"Shh," he soothed quietly, "Everything's gonna be okay."

"You don't really believe that."

"I do. I have to...because it's the only thing that keeps me going on." He could see in her eyes that she didn't really believe him. "We can't do this here," he whispered, gently sweeping her off her feet and into his arms, "Jodi shouldn't see us like this."

She buried her face in his chest, nodding in silent agreement. Derek carried her towards their room and made sure he locked the door before he set her down on the bed. As he settled down next to her, Emily covered her face with her hands, murmuring, "It's all my fault."

"Don't," he shook his head, "Don't do that. It's not your fault. It was _never_ your fault." She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off before she could get a word out. "No," he said firmly. "You don't get to blame yourself for this. Look at me, baby," he whispered, cupping her cheeks gently, "Lux is our baby. We told her that her genes don't matter, you need to believe that too. What she needs right now, is time to process this drama. I'll do everything I can to make sure she knows that we love her unconditionally."

"I don't think there's anything we _can_ do, Derek. She doesn't even believe us anymore. We lied to her," she sighed, defeated.

"We didn't lie to her. She is our baby and we've never thought otherwise," he insisted, "We love her just as much as we love Jodi. We agreed that not telling her the truth until she turns eighteen would be best for her. We didn't want her to grow up thinking she wasn't wanted, remember?"

"Yeah."

"Baby, I know you're scared, so am I. But I know Lux wouldn't walk away from us – she loves us. She just doesn't know how to face us yet," he whispered soothingly, wrapping his arms firmly around his wife.

"I want to believe you, Derek," she breathed, "But I'm so afraid..."

"It's okay," he murmured softly, "You're not alone. I'll be with you every step of the way." He leaned in to kiss Emily softly, silently urging her to believe that everything would be okay, that he would do everything to make sure that their family stayed together. "I love you."

"I love you too, honey," she whispered against his lips.

...

Just as Emily had finally fallen asleep, there came a gentle knock at their bedroom door. At the noise, Derek glanced worriedly at his sleeping wife's form; she hadn't fallen asleep easily even then and he'd been worried she would end up crying once again.

But she didn't even stir at the noise – a testament to just how exhausted she was, seeing as she'd always been a light sleeper, especially after the girls had come along.

He took great care as he stood up from the bed so he wouldn't wake her, and tiptoed to the door, opening it to reveal Jodi. "What's up, sweetheart?" he whispered.

"Nothing," she said, biting her lip lightly as she glanced past him to where her mother was fast asleep. He knew that look on her face, the look he'd seen on Emily's face a thousand times when she was worried, but trying not to let it show. "Is Mommy okay?"

"She's fine, just a little tired" he assured, but it sounded weak, even to his ears.

The young girl shot him another look he recognized, the one he got when his lies fell flat the second they fell from his lips. But Jodi said nothing. Her gaze travelled between her parents for a moment before she quietly asked, "Can I take a nap with you and Mommy?"

For the first time that day, he heard the desperate need of a little girl who just needed a hug from her parents. Sometimes, it was easy to forget she was only ten years old, but in that moment, he saw his baby girl standing there.

"Of course you can, princess," he said gently, leaning down to hug her and lightly kiss her forehead. He smiled tenderly as he watched their youngest daughter climb into bed, snuggling close to Emily's sleeping form.

He climbed into bed as well, spooning his wife from behind, taking care not to wake her. It had been a long and hard month for them, especially for Emily, and this was the first time in a long time that she'd slept so soundly.

He reached out and tenderly tucked a stray lock of Jodi's hair behind her ear, whispering, "I love you, Jodi."

Sleepily, the young girl mumbled, "Love you too, Daddy."

"I love you, Emily," he whispered gently into his wife's ear.

Wrapping his arms firmly around his girls, he sighed softly and slowly let himself fall into dreamscape.

...

Emily slowly regained consciousness, trying to get her sleep-addled mind figure out why she felt so warm. She knew it was early summer, but it didn't explain the overwhelming warmth surrounding her. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and found saw the most pleasant sight before her.

She remained motionless for several moments, quietly watching her daughter sleep. It brought her back to when Jodi was born, when she refused to sleep unless she was curled up against the chest of one of her parents. She couldn't believe that ten years had gone by so quickly... The little girl had changed so much since she was baby. When Jodi was little, they couldn't figure out who she looked like – every day she looked a little different, some days she looked more like Derek, some days she looked more like Emily, and some days she just looked like herself.

Now, at the age of ten, Jodi looked like a miniature Emily, much to Derek's delight. He'd always said he wanted their girls to be just as beautiful as their mother. As she gently traced her fingers over the little girl's features, she felt bad, knowing she'd been neglecting her younger daughter since the whole drama began nearly a month ago.

"You're awake," Derek whispered quietly, not wanting to wake the ten year old sleeping soundly in her mother's arms. "Sleep well?" he asked, kissing her neck gently.

"Yeah. Not much, but well," she smiled lightly. Turning her head, she leaned forward to kiss him gently. "Thank you. I needed that."

"You're very welcome," he smiled, leaning in to steal another kiss. "Look, I don't care what people say, Lux and Jodi are _both_ our babies and that is never going to change."

"I know."

"You know what else will never change?"

"What?"

"I'll always be here for you. Jodi too. That will never change, no matter what happens."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she hugged their sleeping daughter a little tighter while Derek gently kissed her temple. "Thank you," she whispered quietly, to both Jodi and her husband.


	15. Chapter 15

Jodi may have only been ten years old, but she was by no means dumb – she could tell that something very bad was happening to her family, even if no one would tell her the truth, trying to pretend everything was normal.

She didn't like it when her parents were upset. She'd seen her mother crying more than she'd cried for as long as Jodi could remember and all the young girl wanted was to give her mother a big hug and tell her everything was going to be okay...but she knew her mother was trying very hard for her sake to pretend that nothing was wrong and she didn't want to have it all be for nothing. She too had heard her father yell for the first time and that night, she had hid in her room and cried, knowing that things were so much worse than everyone was trying to make them seem.

But the worst part, at least in Jodi's mind, was that her sister was pulling away. Jodi idolized her older sister, she loved spending time with her – but lately, there had been less time with her sister and more time in which Lux locked herself away in her room...and Jodi didn't like that.

But her conversation with Penelope had made Lux realize how much her little sister was probably missing her. So, when she got home, she'd reached out to Jodi, not wanting her to think that anything had changed between them, just because the rest of her life had changed.

"Lux, are Mommy and Daddy okay?" Jodi asked quietly, turning her attention away from the movie they were watching.

"Quit moving your head, Jo," Lux said as she French-braided the younger girl's dark locks. "Mom and Dad are fine," she lied, "Why?"

"They're not okay..." she argued, "They're sad." She was silent for a moment, chewing her lip contemplatively – Lux saw so much of her mother mirrored in her sister in that moment and it made her sad, further emphasizing that she was the black sheep. "Why won't they tell us what's wrong? They always say we should be honest about everything..."

Lux frowned, trying to figure out the best way to explain to her sister what was going on without really explaining anything. "You know they're just trying to do what's best for us – if they aren't telling us, there must be a good reason." She felt awful lying to Jodi, but telling the truth would mean having to confront the fact that discovering they weren't really sisters _did _change their relationship, no matter how hard she tried to pretend it didn't.

Jodi sighed as Lux finished braiding her hair and pulled her into a hug. Silence descended between them again, the movie still playing quietly in the background. Eventually, the younger girl spoke up again, "My friend Scott was adopted..."

Lux felt her heart almost stop in that moment, wondering if Jodi knew more than she was letting on and this was her way of bringing up the touchy subject. "Oh, really?" she said, attempting to be nonchalant.

"Yeah," Jodi shrugged, "He told me he found a letter his birth-parents wrote to his parents..." Lux still couldn't discern whether or not there was supposed to be a subtext to this conversation, so she said nothing for fear of accidentally spilling the secret. "I think he's lucky."

Lux frowned. "Why?"

"Because he has two families to love him."

Lux had to admit that she was right...maybe things weren't quite as bad as they seemed...

...

As Cate drove closer to the Morgans' home, her grip on the steering wheel unconsciously tightened and scenarios of how things could go horribly wrong kept running through her mind. She couldn't explain the mix of excitement and fear coursing through her veins. Lux wouldn't tell her over the phone why she wanted to meet her again, she'd only said to meet her at her home with her family.

She stopped in front of their home, taking deep breaths to calm herself. Since this whole drama began almost a month ago, all she could think about was Lux; there were so many 'what ifs' and 'maybes' running through her mind.

Before she knocked on the door, she peered into the house through the window and saw a sight she'd never seen in her own family – the two girls nestled safely between their parents in a loving group hug, the perfect vision of familial happiness.

Maybe things would have been different if she'd had a family like theirs...

...

"I'm adopted," Lux whispered sadly, tears welling up in her eyes. "We're not really sisters..."

"That's not true," Jodi said softly, hugging her sister. "We _are_ sisters."

"It's true, I am adopted."

"I already know that, but we're still sisters."

"Wait, what do you mean you already know?" Derek asked, sharing a confused look Emily.

Jodi shrugged, "I heard you guys talking to Lux the other day. It's okay," she assured, when she caught the look of surprise on their faces. "I don't care if Lux is adopted or not, I still think she's my sister. That's not gonna change, right?"

"Never," Lux promised, pulling her little sister into a tight hug. "You'll always be my baby sister. I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. Pulling away from Lux, Jodi shifted closer to her parents, and pulled them into a hug. "Don't cry, Mommy. Everything's gonna be okay." The whole situation seemed so backwards, the ten year old promising her parents, her older sister, that everything was going to work out somehow.

"These are happy tears," she said softly, "I'm so glad I have you girls."

For a few fleeting moments, it was so easy to forget everything, to pretend that it was just the four of them in those perfectly contented moments. If she shut her eyes, it was almost like they were back in the peaceful days of before the world started falling apart.

But it wasn't real and, just as quickly as the peace had settled, it was shattered again by a knock on the door. Emily stood up quickly, taking a few reluctant steps towards the door, a look of something like fear on her face. "That'll be Cate..."

"Mom, wait," Lux said, standing up too, "You know this doesn't change anything, right?" Her gaze swivelled between her parents quickly. "This doesn't change anything between us. I mean, you're still my parents. Cate is just someone else I have to get to know..."

"Thank you," she whispered, hugging Lux.

...

"Let's get things straight," Lux began once Cate settled down. "I don't forgive you. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you. I don't want to..."

She opened her mouth to say something more, but Cate, desperate to stop things from going down the miserable road they'd taken every other time, burst out, "You don't have to. You don't have to forgive me – I'll never be able to forgive myself. I only want a chance..."

Lux glanced at her parents, partly for assurance that this was okay, partly to comfort them. She could tell that what she was doing pained them, but they promised her they were fine with it – or would be eventually – but she knew it wasn't easy. "That's why I'd like to get to know you... Frankly, I wish you'd never come here at all, but what's done is done. Now that I know, I want to know more about where I came from."

Cate's eyes began to sparkle with tears. "Oh, thank you," she breathed, "You don't know how much this means..." She wanted to wrap her daughter up in a tight hug and never let go, but a quick glance at the room's other occupants told her that this was hard enough on them already. "What made you change your mind?"

"It's a long story," Lux shrugged, "Bottom line is, I don't want to hate you anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life angry and miserable."

"Thank you," she whispered again, softly. Glancing at Derek and Emily, then finally Lux, she said, "I know this is hard for you, but this means so much to me. Thank you."

Derek and Emily exchanged a look. "We just want Lux to be happy," he said. "Don't hurt her again."

"Never. I couldn't be a parent before, but I promise to do the best I can now. I won't let her down."


End file.
